I Want It That Way
by Bianca Moon
Summary: Songfic-Backstreet Boys- Lily was in love with someone else before starting to date James.


**I Want It That Way**

_You are my fire_

_The one desire_

_Believe when I say_

_I want it that way_

Lily Evans was sitting by the window in her bedroom, looking at the grounds beneath. The sky was stormy and grey; just like the eyes that were haunting her in her mind every night. She sighed deep and leaned her forehead against her palms. The summer holiday before the seventh year at Hogwarts was ending; it was only eight days left before she would have to return back to the school. 

She shivered, fresh tears welling in her eyes. How could she possibly survive, being so completely isolated from her secret crush for an entire term? She did not know. She felt the urge to scream and rip her hair, so frustrated she was. For how could she ever get the chance to meet _him_ now? It was hopeless.

_But__ we are two worlds apart_

_Can't reach to your heart_

_When you say_

_That I want it that way_

Why, oh why, could _he_ not return her feelings? But Lily knew exactly why. There were two rather strong reasons.

For one, she was Muggleborn.

For second, _he_ was drifting away, being bewitched by another power, more stronger than hers.

At first, Lily had been sure that these two obstacles could be defeated. But not anymore. Her hope was fading like the setting sun. The silvery moon was replacing all the golden beams in her mind, its glow reminding her about the silken platinum hair she so much yearned to touch.

But she could not touch. 

She knew she would never be able to.

_Tell me why_

_Ain't__ nothin' but a heartache_

_Tell me why_

_Ain't__ nothin' but a mistake_

_Tell me why_

_I never wanna hear you say_

_I want it that way_

Perhaps it had been a mistake from the very start. It was unrequited love. But love so rarely asked questions.

Perhaps she had been blinded. Blinded by _him_, from the very first time she saw the gentle autumn wing playing with _his_ long, silvery mane. She had been watching _him_ from the shadows, admiring how the purple aurora had shone from _his_ eyes, making _him_ look half ethereal, half real.

And she had fallen in love.

Real hard. 

_Am I your fire_

_Your one desire_

_Yes__ I know it's too late_

_But__ I want it that way_

_He_ had turned dark. Very dark. Whereas she had remained in light. Pure and white.

They were drifting apart, and she could not do anything about it.

It was too late. 

_He_ was falling in the shadows. Once she had thought he would bring light into the darkness with his angelic appearance. _He_ would make the dark lose some of its deathly powers.

What she had not expected, was that _he_ would do that by absorbing the darkness in _his_ heart, and becoming the sheer, ultimate evil himself. A servant of darkness. A servant of death.

A servant of Lord Voldemort.

_Now I can see that we've fallen apart_

_From the way that it used to be, yeah_

_No matter the distance_

_I want you to know that_

_Deep down inside of me_

_You are my fire_

_The one desire_

_You are, you are, you are, you are_

_Don't__ wanna hear you say... _

Lily could not compete with the Lord of Darkness. The powers of evil were too strong, too captivating, too hypnotizing.

But she could not help still loving _him_. 

She peered through the window glass, her eyes blank. In the nearby bush, a diligent spider was weaving a glimmering web. She looked how the sticky chords captured the light raindrops. And again, like so many things today, this reminded her of _him_.

_He_ was just like those raindrops. Silvery and beautiful, flowing and so easily carried away. And there _he_ was, one of those hopeless, doomed raindrops, caught in the net of evilness. Forever _he_ would be the servant of shadow and death. 

She could not change that.

She could not bring her light to illuminate _his_ darkness.

And _she_ cried.

Her tears were just like the raindrops. Only that they were flowing free.

_Don't__ wanna hear you say,_

_Ain't__ nothin' but a heartache,_

_Ain't__ nothin' but a mistake,_

_Don't__ wanna hear you say,_

_I never wanna hear you say,_

_I want it that way _

It was hopeless…

_Tell me why..._

_Ain't__ nothin' but a heartache,_

_Ain't__ nothin' but a mistake,_

_Tell me why,_

_I never wanna hear you say,_

_Never wanna hear you say it,_

_I want it that way _

But still, her hope had not died…

Perhaps, some day, she would get _him_ to see that _love_, not _darkness_, is the greatest power of them all.

_Lucius…___

It was the last time she whispered his name.

~The End~

~~~§~~~


End file.
